The Idiot and the Tsundere: A Not So Epic Tale
by InTheOtakuCloset
Summary: 50 sentences challenge broken up into smaller pieces for the pairing Rogue x Sting. More than one sentence (more like one story) as of chapter 4. 36. market: Sting can't see that Rogue just wants a sane and healthy boyfriend because he's stupid.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes, I'm posting this instead of working on Illuminate. So sorry, guys! I'm just kind of at this point where I can't decide which part of the plot to write next. The fact that school's started doesn't help my brain function.**

**The problem with a story that isn't in chronological order is that you're tempted to just write all the fun parts first.**

**So I'm taking a break until I make up my mind. Expect some crack to be uploaded in a couple days...**

**This story will be about 5 chapters; 10 prompts each.**

**Well, enjoy the Sting x Rogue!**

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**These sentences in no way take place in the same universe.**

**1.** **comfort: Angst\Hurt/comfort, T, poor babies**

Sting doesn't even flinch as the doctors treat his body, all third degree burns and broken bones, but all it takes is a silent offer of comfort from Rogue to turn him into a shuddering mess becaus_e_ Gemma's going to kick him out and _oh god, _he'll never be able to live with himself if Rogue gets dragged down with him.

**2. kiss: Romance, K, tsun-tsun Rogue**

Sting kisses with lust in his smile and confidence on his lips, and Rogue must be crazy today (_because for a moment, he almost kisses back_.)

**3. soft: Romance, K, Sting you twisted twisted boy**

Rogue's eyes are never soft, not like Fro's and Lector's or even Natsu-san's- no, Rogue's eyes are as hard and sharp as rubies, and Sting thinks they are beautiful.**  
**

**4. pain: Hurt/comfort, T, AU, abusive parents suck**

Whimpers of pain escape the mass of black and blue bruises in his arms (_as Rogue strokes blond hair turning brown with dried blood_), and he's going to _kill_ that fucker Weisslogia.

**5. potatoes: Humor\Romance, T, AU(?), because oral is a great way to get kids to eat their veggies**

Rogue sits at the table, eyeing his rations with what can only be called blatant hatred, and Gajeel is about to shove the damn potatoes down his throat when he nearly chokes because _Sting is kissing Rogue and holy shit that **sound**_ and Sting just pulls away with a fuckin _potato skin_ dangling from his teeth (_and that's when Gajeel decides that Sting is in charge of feeding Rogue, because no one else is crazy enough to try that shit_.)

**6. rain: Humor, T, AU, Sting is not good at romancing**

"You look pretty with your hair wet," Sting remarks out of nowhere, and Rogue whirls around with death in his eyes because rain or no rain, that's just asking for a kick in the balls.

**7. chocolate: Humor\Romance, T, mmm the best kind of candy**

Sting offers Rogue a bar of chocolate with an obscene expression on his face, and gets rejected every day until one memorable morning Rogue decides he's tired of fucking around with the idiot and pins him against a wall (_"About time," Minerva says when she and Yukino catch them macking in the corner a few minutes later._)

**8. happiness: Humor\Romance, T, AU(?), tsundere OOC Rogue appears again!**

One day Sting tells Lucy that happiness tastes like tsundere, (_and her brain kind of explodes because the first person that comes to mind is Ren_) and immediately afterwards Rogue walks over blushing a curious shade of red, and tells her that it really tastes more like shameless pervert (_and forget exploding, her brain melts into a puddle of goo because that is just so adorable_).

**9. telephone: Humor, K, AU, doggy!Sting**

Rogue thinks that it's cute how Sting races down the hallway barking whenever the telephone rings, but he kind of wishes that Labradors didn't have what can only be called Massive Tails of Destruction.

**10. ears: Humor, T, AU, Rogue has weird ear fetishes**

Orga decides he needs some brain bleach after asking Sting why he has a scab on his earlobe, because "_I found out today that even cuties can bite!_" is really too much information for anyone sane to handle.

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PLEASE REVIEW

have a nice day!


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah, hello again! I'll try and update every 1-2 days, since this is mainly to burn out my writing urges that don't have to do with Illuminate. And there are A LOT of urges.**

**Please, tell me your favorite sentences, if any. It gives me warm fuzzies inside 3**

**THEME OF THE DAY: Dark thoughts in parentheses (with the exception of 12, 15, and 16)**

* * *

**11. name: Angst, M, AU(?), Rogue is an emotional brick and could never be in a healthy relationship**

"Fuck, Sting!" Rogue moans as Sting thrusts deep and hard into him, desperately trying to memorize that those crimson eyes (_so cold, ice shards that stab his heart with the agonizing truth that it was always for the sex, never for him_) and that voice as sharp and cutting as steel (_and it's so bittersweet, that it's only when he calls his name that Sting can pretend Rogue loves him._)

**12. sensual: Humor\Romance, T, SO AU, because I couldn't write an entire 10 sentences without putting some crack OOCness in**

When Sting finds out Rogue is actually fucking _amazing_ at the whole sexy act and has been hiding it all along, he decides not to hold it against him because **damn**, it's nice to wake up to his boyfriend in gothic lolita as a birthday present.

**13. death: Angst, T, AU, Yukino realizes that Sting and Rogue weren't "just partners"**

Sting never accepted death; not when he was five, and throwing a dead bird off a cliff to make it fly, and certainly not now because he just keeps staring at Rogue's mangled body and telling him to wake up (_and even Fro couldn't mistake that for a sleeping person_.)

**14. (rough) sex: Angst, T, AU, Rogue regrets killing Skiadrum**

Rogue doesn't complain when Sting abuses him (_because he deserves it_), scratching him hard enough to draw blood and leave thin scars patterned up and down his back (_because he deserves it_) with no pretense of gentleness or comfort (_because he deserves it, __and it's only then that Rogue feels happy_.)

**15. touch: Romance\Hurt/comfort, K, a shared moment after slaying their dragon parents**

Rogue strokes Sting's bandages with a inscrutable expression (_neither of them are used to this, this silent, gentle intimacy_), and the other leans in with a sigh that only the most war weary of veterans use. (_"I'm so tired," he murmurs, and Rogue doesn't say anything because he understands_.)

**16. weakness: Romance, T, AU, Sting is a prisoner of war and Minerva is an evil interrogator, not really Angst but oh well**

He thinks he can stand it, the endless cold water dunks and electroshocks, because it's for his country and he loves his country, but it's when Bitch Queen shows him their newest torture toy (_who wears a face that is all too familiar_) that he decides that screw his country, he's just realized he loves something (_or someone_) else even more._  
_

**17. tears: Angst\Friendship(?), T, AU(?), a very open ended scenario, so think whatever you will of it**

It's evening when he has the first stirrings of something (_he would call it pain, maybe, or even sadness if it weren't for the undercurrent of longing that feels so unfamiliar),_ and by nightfall the tears won't stop coming because _he_ should be by his side (_and he feels so terribly alone_).

**18. speed: Angst, K, AU, because time flies too quickly for our legs to carry us**

Rogue was always busy, too busy to come home or call or even eat dinner with the one who awaited him at home, even as he pleaded with his taciturn lover to take some time off, but now he finds that his days aren't worth filling at all, when all there is is regret and bitterness (_and why, why didn't he get home in time?)_

**19. wind: Hurt\comfort, K, AU, wind spirit!Sting and the Salamander's disappearance is particularly traumatic for one small boy**

Every time he met him a breeze was there, teasing golden locks and rippling through worn clothing like an old friend (_because that boy and the wind felt like kindred spirits in every way)_, but now he doesn't know this boy in front of him because he looks so sad and _lost_ (_and the wind isn't speaking anymore_).

**20. freedom: Angst, T, AU, rejected and possessive!Sting of the Rapunzel fashion**

Blood red eyes widen in horror as Sting gestures toward the window, registering the fact that there's no way down, and Sting relishes in his horrified and despairing expression, this beautiful creature that can't be tamed or gentled (_but take away its freedom, and then he will the only one it can love.)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Yo y'all! I'm back! **

**You will not BELIEVE the stress relieving factors of 50 sentence challenges. I also find it really fun to imagine the stories I could write based on some of these prompts (maybe I will one day!)**

**BTW, just read the latest chapter of FT. All I have to say- (SPOILER WARNING)**

**SCREW YOU, JIEMMA. HOW COULD YOU. STING'S TEARS ASDFJKL: *sob***

**the only part of chapter 300 that i was happy about is that Sting is ACTUALLY getting character development**

**but even that was RUINED because LECTOR *sob sob SOBBBBB***

**I even dedicated a prompt to him.**

**RIP SNOBBY CAT T_T**

**THEME: crossover, parody, AU (except 23 and 24)**

**Do you like things with themes, or a sort of mixed bag of sentences? Be sure to tell me which ones you liked in a review!**

* * *

**21. life: Family, K, AU, Durarara! parody with Shizuo!Sting, Kasuka!Rogue, and jealous Izaya!Minerva**

Sting speaks of his little brother with pride, about what he's made of his life and how talented, how accomplished, how unlike him he is, and Minerva decides to file that information away as she disappears into the crowd; she's never heard such an affectionate tone from the protozoanand something about it rubs her the wrong way.

**22. jealousy: Angst\Romance, T, AU, Madoka parody with Homura!Minerva, Kyousuke!Rogue, Hitomi!Yukino, Madoka!Lector, Sayaka!Sting, Kyouko!Natsu, and Mami!Lucy**

Jealousy is one the seven deadly sins, and Sting thinks he finally knows why as he stares at Yukino, elegant and white and pure, and wonders if she'd sing with a sword in her chest, like the heartbreaking swan songs of legend (_and Natsu and Minerva are right, good people like Lucy don't get their happy endings because Sting used to be a good person too, and he still couldn't win.)_

**23. hands: Family\Friendship, K, dedicated to Lector**

Lector knows that Sting loves Rogue in a way that he'll never love him, but that doesn't matter because Sting is his guardian, his teacher and his brother; he only extends his hand (_warm and larger than life, just like the rest of him_) to Lector, and Lector will hold on forever and ever because Sting is like a lantern, and he will never steer him wrong.

**24. taste: Angst\Romance, K, Rogue's attempt to bring Sting back to reality, SOB LECTOR, largely influenced by Serpent Tailed Angel's oneshot _Dead or Gone_**

"Lector," Sting calls, looking around for his cat with an expression half broken, half joking, and completely insane, and Rogue wraps his arms around him to stop him from walking right out the guild doors because he can't take this, this searching and waiting for a cat who is just scorch marks and smoke in the air, with the taste of bitter cinders that choke those who knows the truth behind them.

**25. devotion: Friendship, K, AU, Pokemon parody with Flareon!Lector, Skitty!Frosh, Team Sabertooth!Rogue and Sting duo, Ash!Natsu, and Misty!Lucy**

Natsu thinks that Rogue and Sting are synonyms for trouble, just like that damn Team Rocket, but less loveable, until he sees them dive in unison to catch their fainted Pokemon (_because Flareon and Skitty aren't particularly valuable, and anyone with that much devotion to their companions can't be all that bad.)_

**26. forever: Romance, T, AU, Death Note parody with Mello!Sting, Matt!Rogue, Light!Minerva, and L!Natsu**

Rogue used to be fond of saying "_I'll follow you through fire, blood, and brimstone_," in a monotone voice to get Sting to play video games with him- now, with flames scorching his insides, blood boiling and in excruciating pain, the blond laughs because it's so ironic, that Rogue is already dead and gone to Heaven (_as if he belongs anywhere else,) _and Sting is glad he gets to die after him_ (because this way Rogue can't follow him to Hell.)_

**27. blood: T, AU, Avatar the Last Airbender parody with Jet!Sting, Smellerbee!Lector, Iroh!Frosch, Aang!Natsu, Sokka!Erza, Yue!Juvia, Katara!Gray, Toph!Lucy, and Zuko!Rogue**

They'd be a good team, Sting says, and Rogue sees it in his eyes, the glint of bloodlust and hate and fighting spirit, and Rogue knows that no, it's not true at all because Rogue doesn't hate or want to murder anyone in particular, and Sting would kill him if he knew what he really fought for._  
_

**28. sickness: Friendship\Family, T, AU, Inuyasha parody with Sesshoumaru!Rogue, Rin!Frosch, Inuyasha!Sting, Kagome!Yukino, and Shippou!Lector**

Human lives are like a grain of sand in the desert- there are so many of them that really, you can't consider them valuable at all; therefore_, _what Rogue is feeling is not loss, (_what should he care if Frosch is getting married to that no good Lector?_), but a slight illness (_"You've never gotten sick in your life," Sting says, and Rogue decides his half-brother needs a lesson in respect.)_

**29. melody: Romance\Hurt/comfort, T, AU, Hunger Games parody with Rue!Frosch, Katniss!Sting, Thresh!Rogue, Peeta!Yukino, Clove!Minerva, and Prim!Lector**

"Sing for me," Frosch whispers, and Sting buries his face in that ridiculous pink hat and sobs because the spear looks so out of place in the tiny girl, who had a family waiting for her and who could've been Lector, and- _("I didn't protect her," he whispers as Minerva falls to the ground with a sword through her torso, and Rogue drops to his knees and kisses him with the force of something like pity, something like anger, and the biting pain of forgiveness.) _

**30. star: Romance\Friendship, K, AU, Princess Tutu parody with Fakir!Rogue, Ahiru!Sting, Rue!Minerva, Mytho!Yukino, Drosselmeyer!Arcadios, Pique!Lector, Lily!Frosch, and Raven!Jiemma**

When Sting first waltzes into his life, all sparkles and too much brightness and happily-ever-afters, Rogue thinks he might kill him and his annoying tagalongs too because he doesn't need _anyone's_ help to protect Yukino; it's only later that he realizes that the world isn't as dark or hopeless as he thinks _(or thought, anyway)_, that real love exists (_because strange as it seems, Minerva seems to have a heart after all_), and happy endings can still be found (_and Rogue finds his with a brilliant star named Sting.)_

* * *

**A/N: I tried to make these crossovers as accurate as possible (ex. 30: Rue is Raven's daughter, Minerva is Jiemma's daughter) or at least based on similarities (ex. 22: Homura's power of time-travel lets her jump from place to place instantly, same as Minerva)**

**I'm sorry for neglecting this after promising to update quickly! Luckily someone left a review telling me to hurry up that got me super inspired. As you can tell, I kind of run on reviews -_-'**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the crossovers. Many of these series are among my personal favorites, and they're well worth checking out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello, everyone! **

**I'm SO disappointed by the lack of Sting and Rogue in the new Fairy Tail chapters.. T_T**

**Anyways, let's get started! Nothing much to say today. _Oh yes, I also updated my profile to include all my upcoming, tentative, and ongoing projects! There's a poll, too, so please check it out!_**

**THEME: Things that are possible canon up to chapter 301 (except MAYBE 37 and 38).**

**MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE, MORE LIKE ONE STORY.**

* * *

**31. home: Family, T, in which ROGUE MISCALCULATES HIS MASTER'S CAPACITY FOR HUMAN DECENCY, and is so naive as to be OOC sorry**

On the guild's worst days, when he watched his comrades thrown aside without a second thought, Rogue liked to tell himself he and his companions were exempt from Jiemma's wrath. They were the _strongest_, that word that Jiemma loved so much; they as well have been his sons, and even Jiemma couldn't disregard family, could he?

**32. confusion: T, second thoughts and Rogue keeps changing his FEELS**

When one of his comrades was publicly humiliated and expelled by Jiemma, the first thing Rogue felt was confusion.

When confusion settled and the fact sunk in that this man, (_this monster,_) had forced a boy less than 5 years his senior to lick his boots, then ordered him to remove his guild mark with a beastly sort of relish, Rogue felt frightened for the first time since he had fought his dragon (_for __what would happen to Sting?)_

When familiarity bred contempt and Rogue realized that a week had passed without anything happening to Sting, Frosch, Lector, or himself, fear faded and he felt anger at the utter inhumanity of the mage he called Master (_and __he waited for Sting to join him.)_

When anger was cooled into grudging resignation and Rogue realized that at heart he was a coward, he felt shame (_for himself, his guild, and particularly for Sting, who had practically embraced their terrible code_.)

When Yukino was expelled and Sting defended his sad excuse of a guild, Rogue had the revelation that it wasn't shame he felt for Sting, it was hatred (_because he could fit in when Rogue could not_.)

When Sting screamed for his cat, for his brother and his student, soaked in blood and tears and heaving dry, broken sobs, Rogue knew he loved Sting _(and h__e couldn't believe he'd missed it.)_

**33. fear: Angst, T, because honestly it'd be cool if Rogue was the one with the idea to kill their dragons**

After the battle's done, he stumbles back to the cave, hurting all over and fighting to keep his pride in because _he's done it, he's killed his dragon_ _and it's all over_._  
_

He's so radiant that he doesn't even notice when Sting's voice falters in fear, and his best friend takes an imperceptible step backwards as blood pools at his feet.

_Victories don't come without a price_.

**34. lightning/thunder: Romance, K, beware of terrible analogies and creeper!Jiemma**

Jiemma first notices them in a stadium as the blond one swaggers and boasts, using flashy moves and loud taunts to distract his opponents while his partner darts in for the kill; they are adequate fighters, nothing more.

He's in a shady bar when he sees them again, and it seems the roles are reversed as Loudmouth steals kisses lightning quick, and Stoic emits thundering grumbles that are as empty as the mug of beer in front of him.

It's the next day when it finally comes to him how they could be something more (_killing machines, fighting in perfect tandem and oh, how beautiful they will be when he's done with them_.)

**35. bonds: Romance, T, because Unison Raid is the strongest canon example of StingxRogu****e**

"Rogue!" Sting yells as they bring their fists together, and he smiles as he concentrates his magic on Gajeel and Natsu-san, gleeful and triumphant. _'Where are your comrades now?'_

The crowd gapes in shock, and Sting can't help but sneer as he sneaks a passing glance at the Fairies. Never thought that a Sabertooth mage would be able to achieve a Unison Raid, eh? Normally, he wouldn't. Allies and friends are useless titles, just obstacles in the way of his place at the top.

But Rogue isn't an ally or a friend. Rogue is a partner, (_their bond is nowhere near as kind or gentle as friendship, yet somehow more intimate than the closest of lovers,) _and when Sting proves he's the strongest, Rogue will be up there with him.

Fairy Tail had better watch out.

**36. market: Romance\Angst, K, Sting can't see that Rogue just wants a sane and healthy boyfriend because he's stupid.  
**

The first time he fights another human is back when any guild is a distant dream and Sting and Rogue are two orphan brats on the street, and a gang of rich boys decide to pick on the meeker looking one of the two. He smashes one's head into a market stall, punches another one in the windpipe, and Rogue gets rid of the other three by shoving them into the meanest looking butcher ever. It's almost pitifully simple, and Sting can't help the blush warming his face as Rogue looks at him with a quiet sort of admiration (_he was always the only one who could read Rogue's emotions_.)

_(He battles people all the time now, winning matches easy and grueling alike, and yet Rogue never graces him with the same expression he did so long ago.)_

* * *

There's some days when he wants to grab his partner, scream "_What went wrong?_", shake him and never stop until he dislocates the bastard's shoulder.

(_"What a weakling," he snorts as he throws his shrimpy opponent across the stadium, and Rogue looks angry and ashamed as his grip on Sting's bicep tightens, keeping him from going farther.)_

* * *

There's some days when he longs to embrace his soulmate, whisper "_What went wrong?_", hold him and never let him go.

_("What a stubborn guy," he snorts as the stupid mage finally falls to the ground, and Rogue looks concerned and sad as his grip on Sting's bicep tightens, preventing him from collapsing himself.)_

* * *

There's rare, once-in-a-blue-moon days when he tries to face his friend, ask "_What went wrong?"_, sit down and talk to him again.

_("What a disgusting show of weakness," Jiemma snorts as the blonde stands quietly submissive, and Rogue looks betrayed and disappointed as his grip on Sting's bicep loosens, letting the two of them take a step apart.)_

* * *

Sting doesn't get what Rogue is thinking, and he bets anything that Rogue doesn't get what he's thinking, either.

_(There's a difference between knowing someone's emotions and understanding them.)_

But he won't ask._  
_

(_He's afraid to know the answer.)_

And the days go on.

(_And both of them are locked in a battle that no one else can see.)_

**37. technology: Humor, T, CRACK i'm sorry**

"I dislike technology." Sting couldn't help but crack a smile at Rogue's vehement tone. He reached over and covered the other's hand with his own.

"Rogue, you're not using it right." The blonde gently twisted the plug. "It won't fit in the socket if the prongs don't match up."

Rogue looked unamused. "Why is it so much work to make toast in the first place?" His boyfriend slipped his hand suspiciously close to the inside of the complaining teen's thigh.

"To give me an excuse to molest you, of course."

Everyone else in the room looked on awkwardly. "I hope the Master doesn't know about this," Yukino muttered, and Rufus nodded vigorously.

**38. gift: Humor, T, CRACK i'm sorry again**

"It's a gift~" Sting sang. Rogue looked at it in confusion. "What? Don't you like it? I got an especially realistic one just for you!"

_It was very detailed,_ he thought,_ but also quite abstract._

Not that he was about to tell his arrogant partner he had no clue what the hell this- _thing _was. He cleared his throat.

"Yes, it's a very..." Might as well guess. "beautiful sculpture of a...giant squid?"

Judging by the way Sting burst into tears and started laughing at the same time, Rogue assumed he was incorrect. "Hahaha! It's- it's- oh _god,_ _it hurts_...haha-"

When he finally got the word out, Rogue furrowed his brow in utter incomprehension. Again.

"What's a dildo?" he inquired just as Minerva strode into the room.

**39. smile: Humor, T, Lector (SOB SOB) is better at analyzing Sting's rape faces than he lets on**

Fro watched in horror as the arrow sped toward Rogue, dead set on his heart. "LECTOR, HELP HIM!" the Exceed squealed and squeezed said cat within an inch of his life. (_God_,_ what an annoying frog- cat- whatever_.)

Rogue didn't even move an inch - (_he was probably doing it to get a rise out of Frosch, that bastard)_- as Sting-kun easily grabbed the arrow in mid-air. Sting-kun may have been Lector's teacher, but anyone would've agreed that move was _fucking awesome_.

The archer gaped in surprise, recited a full introduction for the two, so on and so forth... Lector had heard the same spiel about 5 times this week. Frosch once said it was because no one expected such a gay-looking guy to be a mage. (_"Frosch thinks Sting should have been a male stripper!")_ had been the exact words, he believed.

He'd thought that a whack on the head had been a suitable punishment for that slander, but Rogue had stated otherwise. As usual.

Speaking of Rogue, Lector looked back at the Dragonslayer Duo. Sting-kun was currently trying to scare the archer with his menacing posture. He did look ready to shit his pants, but Lector bet it was more due to the fact Sting was sending out the most terrifying rape-waves in existence and sneaking obscene smiles at Rogue, who looked about as receptive as a mushroom. Which was apparently the best (_or was it worst?) _comparison Lector could make at the moment.

_(Frosch was right. Sting-kun was GAYYYY~)- _no offense to his teacher, of course. It was the truth, after all.

When the introduction was finally over, he exhaled a breath. "Sting-kun really overdid it again, huh..." Frosch just let out a _ribbit_. As usual.

Lector resisted the urge to smack his forehead.

_(I'm getting really tired of the usual.)_

**40. innocence: Humor\Romance, T, sweetness, debate, and a bit of irony mixed together to make the finest Earl Grey (yes i have no idea what i just typed either), Rogue says something he'll regret**

Rogue wakes up to a lazy morning, which is unusual, and the normally bustling guild building is about as populated as a ghost town, which is nigh impossible for Sabertooth.

Rogue, however, is a creature of routine, so he decides to make breakfast first before investigating the sudden emptiness of Sabertooth.

There's a certain rythm to his day, set and steady as the pendulum on the grandfather clock kept in the Master's office. It's comforting to hold on to a shred of normalcy in his life, to have that faint sense of _family_ and _home_ in a place where no such feelings exist.

He picks up three eggs, cracking them with his nails (_he's secretly very proud of this ability_) and dropping them effortlessly into the frying pan. There's no thought in the action, just age old memories carrying out a task with utmost precision and efficiency. It's clean and quick, and that's just the way Rogue likes it.

He's onto his fourth egg when a pair of arms suddenly wraps around his torso. Self-preservation kicks in, and Rogue smashes the egg on the intruder's face in a vicious backfist before turning around, frying pan at the ready.

And comes face to face with a possibly concussed Sting.

"...Shit."

* * *

He gently dabs at a nasty cut on Sting's lip, tensing as Sting flinches and lets out a hiss. "Relax, idiot." he says and leans in closer, mouth barely brushing Sting's neck as he exhales softly, carrying a silent apology with it. "You have another one back here."

"It's fine," Sting replies with a dismissive wave, and winces slightly as he does so. Rogue only hit him on one side of his face, but it turns out eggshells can do more damage than expected.

"Stay still," he warns with a brusque tone, but the bandages are applied with the utmost fondness.

Sting cheekily makes a face at him. "Only until you're done."

* * *

True to his word, Sting starts crawling all over him the minute Rogue finishes his little first aid session. "You're heavy," he grunts, and pushes him off the couch. Sting goes down without resistance- or so it seems until Rogue experiences a strange choking sensation and gracelessly topples off himself. _  
_

"Yo, Rogue! Decided to join me down here?" Sting waves a corner of Rogue's own cape in front of his face as the the other muses on the best way to slowly murder the blonde. Strangling seems like a good option. Maybe he'll suffocate him on those ridiculous suspenders he wears.

"Rogue~ Rogue-_chan_..." Rogue mentally counts to ten, trying to keep his katana in its sheath.

"You are annoying." He deadpans, making sure Sting is making eye contact with him. He's found that the direct approach works best with boneheaded morons. As an afterthought he adds, "Where is everyone else?"

Sting looks at him incredulously. "It's a holiday," he says, and raises a disbelieving eyebrow, "you know, New Years Day?"

"...So that's why the guild is so empty."

"No, that's just cause no one's up yet. Everyone's got a hangover from yesterday's party." He takes on a sheepish expression. "You probably don't remember; we were too sick from the train ride home to attend." It's then that Rogue realizes Sting is still invading his personal space, and attempts to get off the ground. In a flash, a hand reaches up to grab the front of his shirt. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere far, far away from you." The "you" in question pouts in an attempt to be cute, but Rogue thinks it's just disturbing. "You look like you're taking a shit," he informs him, and manages to escape onto the couch while Sting protests the comparison.

Unfortunately, Sting -never one to give up- clambers back on top of him, wraps his arms around Rogue's neck, and sits there with an infuriatingly smug expression on his face. "What do you want?" snaps Rogue, and Sting gives him a cocky grin and points to his stomach. Rogue rolls his eyes (_very subtly, of course_) and shoves Sting's remaining arm off his shoulder. "You're not hungry. Liar."

"You saw right through me."

"I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?"

"Of course," and with that Sting suddenly swipes a hand under Rogue's nose. The Shadow Dragonslayer frowns as he registers that the area feels _wet_, and gingerly touches the skin above his lip.

"Sting."

"Yes?"

"Is that _marker_ on my finger?" Rogue narrows his eyes as Sting's smile widens even further.

"I believe it is," he says, positively radiating sparkles and innocence (_which is total bullshit_). "What a pity, you've ruined your beautiful mustache."

Rogue can only stare at him disbelievingly as Sting dangles a permanent marker in front of his face. "Is there a reason for your astoundingly stupid behavior?" he groans, massaging his forehead as he feels a coming migraine. _'Be mature._' his conscience says. _'After all, no one else in this hellhole is.'_

"Lector dared me," Sting flippantly responds, and Rogue decides to give into temptation and punch him.

"I don't regret smashing an egg in your face anymore."

"That's exactly what Lector said you'd say!"

Rogue glares at him with Laser-Eyebeams-of-Death (_yet another thing predicted by the Prophet Lector_.) "Sometimes I wish you two would disappear," he states, and he doesn't _care_ if it's immature, he's at least entitled to this.

Undeterred, Sting bounds back to his feet and sticks his face alarmingly to Rogue's own."Darling, I'm not going anywhere," he teases, and pecks the tip of Rogue's nose.

"You know calling me darling is asking for another beating."

"But I gave you a kiss! Doesn't that redeem me?"

"...Only if the next one's on the lips." _(He can't help but think Sting will never let him hear the end of this.__)_

* * *

**A/N: SO MUCH WRITING**_  
_

**ARGHKL:J**

**Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW! Also, tell me which prompts were your favorites!**


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